Jeff Gundlach thinks these jamokes should leave the dealing—and many other things—to the professionals, like himself.

In his time, dear readers, Jeff Gundlach has seen some shit. A man of varied experience, broad tastes and many enthusiasms, he has seen the human mind and form stretched and expanded to extremes, both in the flesh and on the screen. From groupies to lithe young secretaries, from his terrifying imagination to the terror of a jail cell, from restraining devices to Weapons of Ass Destruction, he’s seen everything the lurid and disturbed mind of man can throw up, from the future to purple suits to, we assume, his fair share of body horror. But he’s never seen anything quite so chilling or frightening or, quite frankly, a titillating as the ‘Stoolifed stock market.

“Of course retail investor activity is downright terrifying,” Gundlach said during an investor webcast on Tuesday, pointing to the surge in daily average trade and trade per account on online brokers. “We just see how much trading is going on in retail,” he said…. Gundlach likened the newbie investors to a kid who is offered candy from a stranger.

“It looks like people are kind of re-gifting the candy the con has given them ... they are throwing that candy into this retail investment fervor,” added the so-called “Bond King.”

“This is a terrible sign for the condition of the market for anybody who’s experienced a significant number of cycles, which I’ve definitely experienced,” Gundlach said.

Not that you need to have taken as many trips down Mammary Lane as Gundlach or experienced the pain and pleasure of an 8-inch glass dildo while enjoying the hospitality of a pink and black strap restraining device while wearing a Sexy Slave kit to know that what’s going on down on Wall Street just isn’t right.

“Everybody loves a party ... but, inevitably, after a big party there’s a hangover,” [Stanley Druckenmiller,] the billionaire CEO of the Duquesne Family Office said in a “Squawk Box” interview. “Right now, we’re in an absolute raging mania. We’ve got commentators encouraging companies to do stock splits. Companies then go up 50%, 30%, 40% on stock splits. That brings no value, but the stocks go up….”

“I have no clue where the market is going to go in the near term. I don’t know whether it’s going to go up 10%; I don’t know whether it’s going to go down 10%,” Druckenmiller said. “But I would say the next three to five years are going to be very, very challenging.”

“We’ve been in a speculative frenzy, and I think the bubble popped,” [Michael Novogratz] said on “Closing Bell.” “I think we’ve put the highs in for the year in both the Nasdaq and in Tesla, and now it’s a ‘sell the rally,’ not a ‘buy the dip’ market, so the psychology has to change….”

“Certainly, the bull market is not over yet. I do feel like we’re getting close….”

Bond king Jeffrey Gundlach says the surge in retail investor activity is ‘downright terrifying’ [CNBC]
Stanley Druckenmiller says the stock market is in an ‘absolute raging mania’ [CNBC]
Novogratz says tech sell-off has changed market mindset: ‘I think you’re going to see more pain’ [CNBC Pro]