Affirmative inaction beneficiary Charlie Scharf doesn’t understand why he only wants to hire white people.

When Wells Fargo went looking for its third CEO in as many years, it was determined to make history. America’s number four bank was going to be the first to break the ultimate financial glass ceiling. And why not? A lady could hardly screw up as badly as her male predecessors, and it would make for the first good press Wells had received in, uh, well, three years.

Of course, it screwed it up. Even though two larger and much better-run banks had managed to find female heirs apparent, and even though Wells would seem to have one of its own ready to hand—you know, the one it always charged with cleaning up the messes the boys made—it simply couldn’t find a single woman willing or—in the unerring opinion of its board of directors—able to do the job. So they gave it to a white dude. And wouldn’t you know that that white dude just doesn’t see any non-white faces worth hiring or promoting, possibly because none have married one of Jamie Dimon’s kids?

Wells Fargo & Co Chief Executive Charles Scharf exasperated some Black employees in a Zoom meeting this summer when he reiterated that the bank had trouble reaching diversity goals because there was not enough qualified minority talent, two participants told Reuters.

He also made the assertion in a company-wide memo June 18 that announced diversity initiatives as nationwide protests broke out following the death of George Floyd, an unarmed African-American man, in police custody.

“While it might sound like an excuse, the unfortunate reality is that there is a very limited pool of black talent to recruit from,” Scharf said in the memo, seen by Reuters.

Plus, you know, the Caucasian talent at Wells has performed flawlessly, so why go all SJW? If it ain’t broke, you know? Anyway, before the libtard outrage machine gets whirring at full bore, Scharf has a totally sincere apology to make.

Some of you may have seen media stories referencing a comment on diverse talent from my June "Our commitment to change” memo. I apologize for making an insensitive comment reflecting my own unconscious bias. There are many talented diverse individuals working at Wells Fargo and throughout the financial services industry and I never meant to imply otherwise. I’ve worked in the financial services industry for many years, and it’s clear to me that, across the industry, we have not done enough to improve diversity, especially at senior leadership levels. And there is no question Wells Fargo has to make meaningful progress to increase diverse representation. As I said in June, I have committed that this time must be different.

You know, there’s just something about Wells committing to something being different this time that just makes you know there’ll be a next one.

Wells Fargo CEO ruffles feathers with comments about diverse talent [Reuters]
CEO Charlie Scharf Reinforces Commitment to Diversity and Inclusion [press release]